I

I want happiness.
I tell you my thoughts, hopes, and ideas;
I contribute to the world;
Nothing is returned to me.

Maybe I need to stop saying I,
For the I can only see one thing,
And sometimes I do not see at all,
But I need not I's to learn.

If the world equals out,
Repaying good with bad and both ways,
I should be King of the World,
But the leaves still fall on my grave without grass.

I do not wish to die,
I am not in my grave yet,
But I keep saying I,
I will never say I anymore -- will I?

Control

I have none.
I want it.
I have none.

I was better than you.
I was better than most.
But I ended up worst...

It controls me.
I feed and fall deep into despair.
It is my enemy.

I make no real effort to change,
Meaning I must be accepting of it.
At least on the outside, but deep inside, I loathe myself.

My world, my life has been arranged around it.
My friend, my family all are accepting of it.
Yet I wish I could never feel that again.

I have none.
I do not want any.
I do not want any of it.

I succumb to it.