An Ending?

I'm lost in life.
Passed up by the times, by all the people who care less.
I don't know when, but something got into my mind.
It was there, as it had always been.
I never looked at it this way, as I was now.
I put it over myself, just thinking.
I noticed it wasn't working, so I closed it off.
Almost immediately, I started feeling it, that little bit less that I needed. Every breath caused my thoughts to wonder if it would be my last.
I got scared, and started feeling weak,
I pulled it off quickly, and teared it to shreds, so I could no do it again.
I don't know what had come into my mind.
I didn't plan it, it was more of an instinct.
Now that I look back, it was fun, but the thought of trying it again, makes my breath go shallow, and my heart slow a little,
But, that's a part of my life, now.

What I Am To You

There I was, just standin' in the street,
The only movement is the sound of my breath,
I started walking and my shoes made some noise,
A car drove by, and made more sound,
I started singing a song I don't know,
All of the sudden it came crashing from the sky,
I lay in the street just looking around,
People gathered to just take a look,
I listen to the sounds of nothing going on.
Someone comes along and takes my wallet,
They see nothing in there, so they kick me,
I don't feel it because I am dead,
At least mentally, if not physically.
I'm just a shell to some, and just a mind to others.
What I am to you, depends on how we meet.

Don't Forget

Someone help me please,
I am love in life,
What am I supposed to do?
Here waiting for you,
Someone help me please!
My life doesn't matter!
Why should I even bother?
Does it really matter?
I just want someone to help me please!
I have lived right here,
All of my full life,
No one has
Ever...
Cared... cared...
About me... me...
What do I have to do,
To get you and me,
Together helping
Me right here and now?
Does it mat-at-ter?
What I think about this world?
When the sun comes up,
In the West -- not the Easy,
And the moon comes down,
From the North -- to the South,
And gravity is reversed -- ... -- so what?
No one is still helping me. So,
That means life still sucks!
And that humans are dumb!
GOD is pityful!!
The DEVIL is in our mind! -- ... -- so what? --
If you take my heart,
Throw it on the ground,
Take away my life --
That will only mean,
That I have won,
And that I am right! --
But does it matter?
Does anyone really care? --
Even -- when they -- say they -- do,
They could -- be just lying. -- so what?
I'm still not being helped?
Did you forget my first request?
So soon? --
I am right,
No one has
Ever...
Cared...
About me...
Ever...
Or will -- ever...

Mind Over All

Is it wise to think about death?
Is it?
Would it be safe to assume that death is fake?
Would it?
Understanding things when we are too stupid to understand ourselves.
Pityful things tought with easy and subtraction.
Humans touch things with fear and curiosity.
Saying we're the "intelligent species" when we satisfy out need to survive and conquer.
Doing things only for stupidity, and eager, and willingness.
Why do we try?
Where do we think we have won?
When we we go for it all?
How do we feel we've won?
Only out mind causes trouble.
Without it, we've'll have peace.

I

Where did it all begin?
The world -- where?
I don't believe the 'big bang' theory;
And I don't believe in organized religion.
So I'm left with my own reasons;
I need to find it for myself.

It is amazing how everyone has parents.
Yet we realize that someone, someone didn't have parents.
I think that we evolved through dimensions,
But if that was true, what happened before the first dimension?

IV

I've figured the five essential things in life.
The first is that life is short (a cliche),
And you must seize the day (another cliche).
Although they are cliches, they are true.

The second is that everything is special.
Even two species of the same kind -- like two daisies --
Are unique, and special.
Everything has its own special quality, and
Must be appreciated for that.

(One should stop here and ponder the previous two before continuing.)
The third is that all necessities are really needs.
Food is not a necessity, it is a need,
Air
Water
Earth
Sun.

The fourth is time.
I know I already said life is short,
But I mean time as a difference from what it was,
Time is considered now as an enemy -- a friend also -- but mostly an enemy.

The last thing -- you may not understand this --
Is something I have forgotten. You may
Think that I never knew it at all.
But I did! I even wrote it down -- only,
I can't read my writing and my memory is poor.

V

I feel like I've detrayed the human race today.
Not in anyway physical, or noticable,
But I still have.

XIII

I have a most embarrassing day the other day.
I just wish I was a flower.
I wish I was a can.
I wish I was an M&M,
Or maybe, a cactus by the sea.

The reason I want to be these things,
Is that they aren't human,
And they don't have to deal with,
The pain and suffering -- embarrassing.

XVI

You care for him so much.
You wish your could make him better.
You wish you could fix his problems,
Instead of tormenting him.

But you can't.

And you must keep him outside all the time,
Area from you -- and love.
You hardly see him.
You hardly miss him -- but you still care.

You miss him rubbing himself against your leg,
To try and coax you into petting him.
All you ever heav -- is that lonely cry,
Saying "Let me in."

The that one fateful day, you look out the window,
And see him walking down the driveway.
You see him stager and think to yourself:
"Probably just a wobble or something."

Then you see him fall.
Your heart flutters while thinking:
"He probably just fell to lie in the sun,"
But he doesn't get up, and he doesn't move.

You run outside and touch him; he's dead.
You look up to the sky, and think to yourself:
"Why? I know he had to go, but why?"
And then you know why -- and see him walk by.

After The End

There I was,
Just me and the stars,
Although we were a million miles apart,
I thought I was right there with one.
I looked around, and vividly saw all,
Every single one, of my memories.
I looked up,
To see blackness,
With red and blue lights.
I looked down, to not see the ground,
But moreover to see where I had been,
Earth.
I suddenly, well, almost suddenly,
God scared.
I walked. Not forward,
Backwards,
Or to the side,
But nowhere.
As I walked, I met people,
They introduced themselves,
And I myself.
They just laughed,
And walked on.
After this happening several times,
I ran.
I was running up,
Yet I was still standing.
Then, there was my long lost friend.
I started talking to him,
Yet he knew for who not I was.
As I introduced myself,
He vanished.
I looked up again, to see the lights,
But they were not there.
I looked down, to see the grass,
Where I had left Earth from.
I looked at myself,
And I was different.
Then, I slowly,
Ever so slowly,
Fell over.
As the bullet went through my brain,
Causing massive damage,
I saw the blue and red lights again,
And all my memories.

Purpose

Life is hard,
I am weak.

I've done nothing,
And succeeded.
I do something,
And fail.

I thought for the first time,
That my life's purpose was over;
I had accomplished what I was put here to do,
Whatever it was.

But I shall not kill myself,
If God wants me dead,
He will have to kill me himself,
And take the blood on His hands.

I have no purpose,
And one cannot create one.
So I shall die at the end,
Having spend the majority of my life seeking what I've wanted.

You will die also,
But having spent your life doing what God wanted you to.

I

I want happiness.
I tell you my thoughts, hopes, and ideas;
I contribute to the world;
Nothing is returned to me.

Maybe I need to stop saying I,
For the I can only see one thing,
And sometimes I do not see at all,
But I need not I's to learn.

If the world equals out,
Repaying good with bad and both ways,
I should be King of the World,
But the leaves still fall on my grave without grass.

I do not wish to die,
I am not in my grave yet,
But I keep saying I,
I will never say I anymore -- will I?

People Do

Love doesn't hurt. People do.
Guns don't kill. People do.
Happiness doesn't create joy. People do.

Depression doesn't mean sadness. People are.
Earth isn't a place. People are.
Death isn't alive. People are.

Memories don't exist. People do.
Ideas create ideas. People do.
Ends don't end. People do.

When others look at me,
They see my shell,
And so few, see that living part,
In the center.

Some amuse me,
Others help me,
But all the time,
I'm there by myself.

Why don't I tell them?
Why don't I help them?

If I was alive, I'd open my eyes,
And see that my pathetic problems need to be put on hold, and everyone that I know, I need to help.

I found out that my sister died,
And all the wasted time I spent on myself.
I should have been closer,
But it's too late, it's too far gone.

Notes

I have just died.
Whatever you believe happens after death, has happened to me.
But before I died, I left a note.
In that note, I told the world how to love a better life.

I told them to enjoy life.
I told them to take the best in.
I told them every cliche in the world.
I told them everything I could.

At the end of the letter,
I asked that it be translated into every language -- alive or dead,
A copy made for every human -- rich or poor.
I asked for all human beings to understand.

But I then came back to life.
And my revival overshadowed my death note.
So I wrote another note,
And made sure they read it this time.

Sleep, My Dear

Let the worries of the world bounce off you.
Close your eyes, and let my love protect you.
Dream of a better life you deserve.
Keep blankets around you to keep you warm.
I'll be here all night next to you.
So lay your head down,
Let yourself be vulnerable,
I won't abuse the privilege,
I won't succumb to pressure,
So just sleep, sleep forever my dear.

Life

Eat sleep drive work think complain desire want lust wish hope dream imagine age ignore pass worry contemplate am cease.

Path Closed

Photo by: dougward

My doctor told me today that I will die soon,
And as I look back at my life,
I've discovered that I've taken the
Path so few others have taken.

I wish I hadn't take this path however,
For all this path has shown me is loneliness, confusion, and death.

I wish I could go back and put up a "Path Closed" sign,
But I know that others must suffer like I have.
Besides, there's probably already a "Path Closed" sign there,
And I'm going to die soon.